Goodbye, Stranger

Published May 7, 2014 in slightly edited form in Tulare County's Foothills Sun-Gazette


     "Hello, Stranger," he'd say to me as he wheeled his cart through the market door, coming for groceries.  But I didn't know how much that meant until Sunday when I heard the news that Henry Servin left us early that morning.  Whether he went voluntarily (and by that I mean that he was in some way ready,) or the Lord just came and took him, I don't know.  All I know is that his beaming spirit will be missed among those of us he befriended regularly, constantly.


     "He was my only hope," one checker commented as we closed that night.  When I asked what she meant, she said something about decent customers.  We have many decent customers, so I contemplated what he brought that was so special, and it was that he reached out to each of us as unique, equal individuals.


     He had different names for each of us.  I thought he called everyone "Stranger," but discovered that may have been saved for me.  One of the newer checkers he simply called "Mija," while he used the real names of those who'd worked there longer. I may have been the lone Stranger.  I felt somehow properly identified.


     Elise Boulding, one of the great Quaker peace activists from the last century, wrote a beautiful passage about the word.  "I would like to suggest a new word to replace enemy.  It is "stranger."  It's a very old word, and a good one.  We have no more enemies, but we have strangers.  Sometimes we are estranged from ourselves and God.  When we meet a person we call a stranger, that person has to be listened to... There is no tribal group to my knowledge that does not have a tradition for dealing with the stranger."


     And maybe that was Henry's gift:  listening.  He was always full of words, and they came out fast, like a man on a mission.  But when he asked how we were, he was looking us in the eyes and really wondering.  He noticed.  And he brought life into the store every time he came.


     I was missing in action the night before he died, at least from the market.  We held our concert celebrating Lindsay's recovery community at the Methodist Church, and I took the night off from work in order to hand out programs, emcee, sing a couple of songs and clean up.  It was a glorious night.  Spirit Driven, the band that performed, knocked the socks off of everyone who came to sit in the pews.  The people who run the two 12-Step programs that meet in the church were there to speak of their hopes for the community.  One longstanding participant in 12-Step programs bore witness to the spiritual training inherent in those Steps.  Most important, we built a sense of community: that those who suffer from addiction and those who help them are not alone.  Anonymous, yes.  Alone, no.


     The truth is we are members of each other, to borrow from Wendell Berry's Wild Birds:  "All of us.  Everything. The difference ain't in who's a member and who's not, but in who knows it and who don't."  Henry knew himself to be a member of this community and recognized the rest of us as members also.  As we feel his loss, may we keep that spirit alive.


     Goodbye, Stranger.  See you later.
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Trudy Wischemann is a cashier at RN Market who writes.  You can send your stories of Henry and other strangers to her c/o P.O. Box 1374, Lindsay CA 93247 or leave a comment below.

The Driving Spirit

Published as "In Recovery" in significantly different form Wed. April 30 in Tulare County's Foothills Sun-Gazette


     On Saturday, May 3rd, the Lindsay United Methodist Church will be hosting a concert to "Celebrate Lindsay's Recovery Community."  The concert will feature Spirit Driven Band, a duo of Jesse McCuin of Lindsay and Dennis Harrison of Tulare.  The concert will run from 7:00-8:30 p.m. and is free and open to the public.


     To some, the idea of a "recovery community" will seem odd; to others, improbable that one exists in Lindsay.  But from the moment I arrived here two decades ago, I encountered people who were or had been in recovery.  Many told me how Lindsay's AA meeting, which has been located in the Methodist Church for more than 40 years, had helped restore them and/or their family members to life.  Some became life-long participants, helping others.


     What struck me in these people was their quiet honesty about themselves and their commitment to life.  And they were people from every level of society.  One town leader who often grieved me had earned their respect for the way he cared for his addicted brother.  One of my favorite mechanics had reclaimed his life through another AA meeting.  What struck me about all of them, however, was they seemed to have real spiritual depth and they actively, purposefully cared for others, including me.


     The benefits of recovery programs have been felt throughout the community, most often invisibly:  families and friends, employers and organizations, schools and churches all have been helped by those who have participated in recovery programs, even people who've never been afflicted by addictions themselves.  The driving spirit in most recovery programs, particularly AA, is the critical need to re-size one's self to our real place in the universe, to re-place one's body and mind run amok under the guidance of heart and soul, reconnecting with whatever "higher power" a person has experienced.


     Saturday night's concert will be specifically Christian, however.  Most of the songs are rock songs spanning the decades from the 1960's to the mid-1990's, with creatively re-written lyrics.  The music of Spirit Driven is Christ's message of redemption to people who suffer from various addictions, and they take this message to Teen Challenges, rescue missions and prisons across the state.


     The program for Saturday night includes music from the Beatles and the Rolling Stones to Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under the Bridge" and Green Day's "When I Come Around."  It also includes a few original songs written by the pair, and will open with Kris Kristofferson's "Sunday Morning Comin' Down."


     So that's what we'll be celebrating Saturday night, May 3rd.  If you've ever been able to thank God for the restoration of a friend or relative - or yourself - we hope you'll join us in this joyous event.  The Methodist Church is located on the corner of Honolulu and Gale Hill, due east of City Hall.  To find out more about AA meetings, call the Tulare Co. Central office at 592-6999 or visit www.aa-tulareco.org.
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Trudy Wischemann is a writer who loves music.  You can send her your recovery stories c/o P.O. Box 1374, Lindsay CA 93247 or leave a comment below.